5-21-2004
Humiliating story of the week #2
(Warning: if stories of female anatomy gross you out, dont
read this!)
Running late for work this morning, I finished my hair and decided I hated the pants I had on. All my stupid clothing is dirty, and I must find decent pants to wear to work! I Rooted around, cursing in closet and found 1 pair of BeBe jeans on a hanger in the back. Whoo-hoo!
I threw on the jeans, and tore out of the house. I stopped at Circle K, down the street to get coffee and cash in my winning ($10) lottery ticket. I pour myself some coffee and go to the counter to pay. While I am in line, I hear some guy, loudly stating "Oh god! That's SOOO nice... What an INTERESTING place for someone to leave their underwear"
I look over, and sure enough there is a pair of black panties on the ground, RIGHT NEAR THE COFFEE. At first I am amused, thinking how funny THAT is. Then my amusement turns to horror as I realize that those panties look familiar, and I was the last person standing there, and I didn't see them!
Asshole is still making rude comments with the woman next to him about the "Gross panties in Circle K" as I am silently choking on my coffee, trying to figure out if I should just leave or try and "undercover" them into the trash can.
This is a very difficult decison. Finally, the idea of someone else touching MY panties, freaks me out enough to spur my frozen ass into action. I pay for my coffee, and wander towards the panties. Sure enough, they are mine. Sure enough, I realize they must have been in the leg of my jeans, and fallen out while I was pouring coffee. Sure enough, I also realize that they are not clean panties. Oh no, they are not. And of course they are not face down, so no one could notice. NO, of course not - they are face up, showing the entire world they need to be washed. Apparently the last time they were worn, Aunt Flo was visting me.
This just gets better and better.
I look surreptitiously at the asshole. He is watching me. He is watching me watch my panties. I know that if I wait for him to leave, and hover over the panties, he will know what I am up to. So, I make a split decision, and pick them up, and throw them in the trash. I have a disgusted look on my face. "That is too gross" I confide in him.
"Ha Ha!" he yells "Well, they ain't mine!"
"Really? Are you sure about that?" I snidely remark.
He probably wanted to pick them up...
"You sure they aren't YOURS?" he asks. The fucker!
"Nope," I casually reply with a smile "I'm wearing my panties." I grab a muffin from the display, and with great effort not to turn and RUN the fuck out of there, I proceeded to pay for the muffin and leave.
Glorious. This one beats the beach tits story any day. Hilarious. Hope you all laugh at my humilitation. I sure did.
5-17-2004
I feel like such a loser for never posting here. I have a lot to say... really - ask my friends. I dont stop talking, but for some reason, I constantly find the time to update and create websites for everyone else, but not to update my goddamn blog once in a while.
I had a really nice weekend. I spent it on the beach. Saturday I went to Oil Piers with 2 girlfriends, and Sunday I went with a bunch of program friends. Sunday was a blast, since we were messing around in the water, laughing. I actually went bodysurfing - I have not done that in years. Problem was, I forgot that bodysurfing with a bikini can be a bad idea. Especially when your friend is standing on the beach videotaping you.
I didnt notice still I had stood up that my boobs were not in their bikini holders. To add insult to injury, my nice suit had ridden completely up my ass. I was a sight.
Well, at least I gave everyone a good laugh. And, captured my humiliation on tape, so I'll never forget.
I have a righteous sunburn, but I relaxed. It was the first weekend in a long, long time that I had NOTHING to do, and proceeded to do it well. Funny thing is, I am more tired than usual today. Hmmm... weird.
I'm doing well, mostly happy - definitely grateful for my life. Wish certain aspects of it would be different, but who doesn't? I know I am on the path to calmer waters... I want it for myself, and I'm willing to do the work to achieve it.
Tina's moving out, and this is a good thing. No offense to her, I love her to pieces. But I always seem to forget that living with a close girlfriend can be a really bad, bad idea. Especially if you and that close girlfriend are really into their own privacy, and decide to live together in a very small apartment.
Fuck I want to be rich and own my own home by the beach! No more apartment dwelling for me! Me and the cats would move into our spacious home on the sands. It doesn't have to be huge, just big enough to be comfortable in. Just big enough to have a party now and then in. I am so sick of paying $1050 a month for a one bedroom apartment.
I have to move again. I hate this.
Anyways, Im babbling, and my attention span has flown out the window... so I'm gonna leave you with that.
Post again soon... maybe